Two tips for couples who use childcare services and who are getting divorced
Getting a divorce can be particularly difficult when you have children and you use child care services. Below are a few suggestions that you and your ex-partner might find helpful in these circumstances.
Consider temporarily increasing the time your child spends in child care
Until the divorce is done and dusted, you should temporarily increase the time your child spends in their childcare centre. The reasons for this are as follows; first and foremost, you and your ex will have a lot of things to talk about (such as why your relationship broke down as well as the practical issues that you both need to work out, regarding your finances, custody, etc.) and your conversations may, at times, make both of you upset and angry.
It is best to have these conversations when your child is not present so that they don't get distressed by them. If, however, you usually only put them in the childcare centre during your work hours, you won't have any time alone with your ex to have these potentially upsetting discussions and you'll have no option but to speak about these matters in front of your child.
By extending the hours your child spends in the childcare centre throughout the divorce, you will have some free time each week to meet with your ex on your own and be as emotional and frank as you need to be, without fearing that your child will hear and be affected by the things you say.
Secondly, it will give you the time you both need to reorganise your lives. For example, if your ex is moving out, they might need time to view properties after work and arrange their house move. You will both also need to meet up with your divorce lawyers regularly. It will be much easier to take care of all of these things efficiently if you don't have to look after your child at the same time.
Don't switch to a different childcare centre unless it's really necessary
When you first decide to divorce, your emotions will be all over the place and you might become prone to making impulsive decisions. You might, for example, initially decide that you want full custody of your child and want to switch to a childcare centre that is closer to your workplace or is in the new town you want to move to. However, after the dust settles and you and your ex start to feel less emotional, you may decide that sharing custody would be better or that you don't want to move from your current town.
If you were to act on this initial impulse, your child would have to go through the stress of adjusting to a new childcare arrangement, only to then have to return to their previous childcare centre when you change your mind. This could rattle them and make the divorce even harder for them to process. As such, you should not be rash about switching to a different childcare centre and should only do this if it's absolutely necessary.
If you have additional questions about child care, reach out to a local daycare facility.